Kecewa.
Mampukah segala kekecewaan ini diubati dalam ketenangan ramadhan?
Mengapa sukar utk menerima ketentuan ini ..adakah kerana sudah terlalu lama mengharap..
mungkin..
tapi a sendiri ada alasan.. sedia kukuh..
mampukah ku pujuk hati ini supaya tertebus duka lara di hati..

Tuhan, daku mencari ketenangan.. dan akan terus memburu kasih
meskipun sudah hampir tersungkur..
banyak kali mungkin tersungkur

support? ah, pedulikan itu semua. tiada jaminan yang sebenarnya. daku perlu berjalan sendiri. dn sendiri!

walaupun perit dan sakit dan pedih, apakan daya diriku hanya seorang manusia kerdil yang tidak mampu berbuat apa2
tidak mahu melawan takdir
kerana ia adalah suratan ilahi
sejak azali

post call today
pheew .. tiring .. but i met dr shafa and dr suraya in oncal room. bestlah sembang dengan k/shafa.. cam kakak2 lah akak2 ni.. kadang2 i nak tergelak when they called it 'bilik pegawai atas panggilan". cam atas awan. gege

nway. 1 post MVa, 2 UGI bleed, satu patietn ni, i thot she is a chinese, but tengok nama rahmah.. aiwah.. melayu rupanya. general condition is ill, GCS 6-7, mmg eyes not open upon call, unable to follow commands but respond with scream when i tapped her shoudler .. macam2 lah manusia ni.. btw, ramai pula manusia perlu CBD malam tadi. terpaksalah bermain urine from 4am till 6.30.

post call droowsiness. i'm actually in ward 4B, male ward

hey ramadhan is approaching .. alhamdulillah

ramadhan rahmat dari ilahi
banyakkan ibadah dan berdoa
hapuskan dosa tingkatkan pahala
-brothers-

ok tata

lurve fillah

Ana memandang sekeliling. Terkesan. Sakit hati. Rindu.

At your forehead, it seems like it was labelled "Please Bully Me" specialist gendut Mr George mencebik. Tersirap darah ana. Kurang hajar. Sesekali mahu ana lepaskan kepalan penumbuk ke mukanya.dan mulutnya yang celupar itu. Tak pernah tahu bagaimana nak menghormati wanita agaknya. Lebih tepat, menghormati seorang muslimah yang punya harga diri dan tidak mahu diperalatkan mata lelaki.

Ana pusing ke belakang utk melarikan diri. Specialist gendut masih mencari pasal. Pada semua surgical team, dia menceritakan perihal dressing up ana yang kononnya 'out of date'.

You know, she was wearing this long black jubah, with a very long tudung. its not a usual tudung, its a very long one. And she walks in the ICU treating patients with that dress. I think the patients in ICU will have a heart attack after seeing her dressing that way.

What f, do you really dress like that?

Ana diam. Benci. Marah.

She really does. And she walks in the ICU with that dress. I dont know lah. i think f, you need a fashion designer. its a very bad fashion.

Bullshit. Ana mencebik dalam hati. Rasa marah meruap ruap. kupalingkan wajah ke tepi.

Malam itu mata ana bengkak menahan rasa. Tak boleh jadi ni. Ana tekan2 punat sms. mencari2 nama akak. Akak, is it ok for me to chat with you?

............musim berlalu bagai sungai mengalir, menuju ke arah muara.........ringtone berdering.
Segera diangkat panggilan akak.

Salam f, kenapa ni?

isk akak, ana kena buli. dengan specialist pulak tu.

takpe, apa yang dia buat.

dan ana pun menceritakan segala2nya dengan deruan air mata. Imagine, sepanjang ana di tanah asing Aust tak pernah sesekali manusia mengomel tentang dress up ni. Jubah n tudung labuh memang costume ana dari dulu sampai sekarang. dari kecil sampai besar. even ana sendiri merasakan seperti tidak memakai tudung sekiranya tudung labuh ku ini ku kecilkan atau di lilit2.. ah.. tak international sikit lah. tapi itu rutin ana. ana bahagia begini. biarpun mereka kata ana kolot. perlu image consultant. Kurang hajar!

its ok. You should report to Mr Jerald, your head of department about this. let teach them a lesson. Never mess with muslims!

keras suara akak memberi usul. Ana diam.

Menarik, tapi ana masih di department ni. kang takpasal2 kena extend.

takpelah, dah nak kuar nanti, reportlah. biar diorang tau jangan senang2 nak kritik cara orang. lebih2 lagi kita wanita muslim. bukan macam wanita2 kafir yang tak tau menjaga maruah diri tu. pakai baju seperti tak pakai baju.

Dalam deru air mata, ana merancang. Jzk akak. kerana sudi menadah perasaan ini.

to ALLAH i submit myself.

I spoke to my dad " waled, you're a bit debab"
my dearest waled reply .. taklah..
isay..deny lagi tuh.

today i take my day off. after everyday bekerja tanpa henti, tak hirau siang dan malam, pagi petang, ahad, sabtu, semua sama je.. i've lost count of my days. yesterday, i was oncalled with dr ridwan, he said thats the pain working in msia. mmg takkan ada cuti.

isk

i did several I+D yesterday. ( incision and drainage), punya lah ramai manusia kat msia ni yang ada bisul (abscess). diabetic lah katakan. dari pagi sampai 12mlm kitorang berdua buat I+D. Its the day of I+D yesterday., E yucks!

nasib baik takde laporotomy. kalau tak, penat lagi lah jawabnya.

to ALLAH i submit myself.

Jom gi usrah. Lama tak dengar bite

skit lagi ramadhan menjelma lagi ! gege
alhamdulillah, moga dipanjangkan umur menempuh ramadhan! hayya bina

maas salamah

todays oncal is just nice. eventho i've oncalled for two days EOD
how i stumbled to get bloods from all 40 patients. the icu patient, burns, crying, whinging, pleading

do u really need to take my blood doctor?
i'm afraid i have to

isk

when the staff nurse inform me to put in branula for an eleven months old baby, i fringed
i tried and poked, the baby kicked and wriggled
calm down lil man, just a bit of a prick
alhamdulillah, got it in

and the live goes on..

manimaran , 34 year old indian male, came in with 85% second degree burn all over his trunk, limbs, buttock, genitals..
now where can i take his bloods?
femoral!
sorry uncle, poking

and there goes the scream again

duh!

i received a visit from someone who was still destined to be far away..
we havent talk to each other as yet..
maybe we are waiting for the rose of ukhuwah to bloom all by itself..naturally..insyALLAH..

let all those sweet marbles come into place when the time comes
surely only when ALLAH permits ...

Bicara kita adalah bicara sufi
tanpa suara dan kata-kata
kerana penghubung kita adalah suara hati
bertemu berpisah kerana ALLAH

fillah abadan abada
syukran jazeelan kathera

assalamua'laykum wrh wbth

i cdnt hardly imagine that i'm going to open up a blog again. I guess i just lurve writing and its hard to keep thoughts all by myself..

like one of the great scholars always says..
spread your thoughts away, dont be afraid to shout it out loud

to ALLAH i submit myself